Hello! I'm actually not new here. I use to go by OmniBeast, but I've lost access to that account. (Not that I was well renowned for anything)

It's been a long while since I've been active on the CV community, but I've returned and I'm looking forward to catching up on everything. I've been away for a long time because my partner and I have been writing a comic script for a little over a year and a half now. We're proud of the work we've done and we're optimistic about all the work we still need to do.

I'm here to offer up a small sample from our comic script, not many outside of friends and family have read it. We both agreed that we'd like a communities' input.

This small sample is set very early on into our story, and it is a defining section for our protagonist. I chose this section because I believe it's a good showcase to our comic. We're trying create a comic that is comedic, bloody, action-packed, and full of over the top moments. We poke fun at both manga and comics, as well as pay tribute to icons of both respective industries. Please Enjoy!

All feedback is welcome! We're excited to see the kind of feedback we'll receive!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UFD00iEhhKeeQdA6-n_xZm0y19-PRnmFrFFVw6CCHwg/edit?usp=sharing

Commenting has also been turned on for everyone!

*EDIT*

All pointed out grammatical errors have been fixed!

I read it, not bad

So first thing, i just wanted to tell you i noticed a few misspellings

page 2, "there's was another..."

page 11, "looking to landon Donovan..."

page 15, "than he should of been..."

Now that being said, i think it's pretty good. I would've liked more characterization or backstory on Donovan, because his personality is still not very well defined by the end of the sample. I liked the little talk between the 2 doctors, and the very detatched way they talked about their human projects.

At first i thought the super soldier concept was unoriginal, but the complication of the cigarette addiction made it much more interesting (and good for comedic purposes). Still, to learn about the super soldier thing so early was not good imo, maybe you could've left it a mystery for a bit longer.

Anyway like i said, not bad! i could feel it was inspired.

@jonjizz: Much appreciated! Thank you for taking the time to read it and give feedback. I'll definitely get to those grammar corrections. A few of your points we actually ourselves have picked out and it's good to see we're at least on the right path.